Food for Thought
by TrueDespair
Summary: Somewhat AU. And who says that learning something new isn't worth the result? -Complete-


Random, Random, Random! This is what happens when your morning class goes into the discussion on aphrodisiac foods. XD Believe me i couldn't hold a straight face throughout the whole morning. XD

**Warning: ...language and stuff that has to do with...making love. *blushes***

**Disclaimer: don't own them; never will**

**Enjoy~!  
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**Food for Thought**

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**Kurogane was so confused. He just couldn't figure out what was happening in front of his face. Maybe it's because the culprit for his mere confusion was his blonde companion. "…Mage…why the hell are there a lot of weird food on the counter?"

Fai just smiled as he placed the last plate in front of the ninja. "Oh come now, Kuro-rin; can't I just put food on the counter for my wonderful hubby every now and then~?"

"No and don't call me 'hubby'." Kurogane stated as he looked at the mage's weird food platter. He mentally gagged at some of the food items. "Seriously, is this dinner or what?"

"Kind of." Fai grinned. He then took out a list out of his pocket. He then cleared his throat dramatically which made Kurogane roll his eyes to. "Let's see." He then pointed to the first plate on the list.

"The Avocado," The wizard pointed to the dark green pear-shaped like item on the plate. "Is a smooth, unctuous fruit with a sexy consistency. It is also a supremely healthy super-food, very mineral dense, and contains the body's master antioxidant glutathione, as well as host of healthy carotenoids, heart-friendly monounsaturated oil and superior amounts of fiber, potassium and B6." He then took a knife and cut a piece off and gave it to Kurogane. "Try some~!"

Nervous of the mage's intentions, Kurogane took a piece of the avocado and plopped it into his mouth. "Hmm…..it's not bad." He didn't know what the mage was doing but as long he was getting something in his mouth; he wouldn't complain…yet.

Fai's eyes lit up a bit as he continued the list. "Next we have the Fig." He pointed to the next plate. "This sexy fruit has long been thought of as an arousing stimulant. They are reported to be Cleopatra's favorite fruit and the ancient Greeks held them as sacred and associated them with love and fertility." He then took a piece and waved it in Kurogane's face. "Come on~! I know you want to try some of this~!"

_Now_ Kurogane had some idea of where this was going but he stayed quiet for the moment until he knew exactly what he has gotten into. Nonetheless he ate the fig that Fai was practically saluting in his face. As he chewed on it; he felt a bit….calm and relaxed for some reason. It must be his imagination…..right?

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After trying a few more kinds of food the wizard displayed for him; he was getting full…and a bit…put off by what he now knew what the mage was doing.

Fai, who was humming as if birds would come out and sing with him; took out the _piece de resistance _as he placed it in front of the counter. "Okay Kurgy, for the final taste; I have here-"

"Oi mage."

"Huh? What is it Kuro-sama~?" Up until that point, Fai was a bit surprised that Kurogane said anything at all. At first he didn't think this would last this long but he was glad that it did.

Kurogane blushed as he shifted his eyes away from the mage. "If you wanted to have sex; all you have to do is freaking ask." He then pointed to the food…or what's left of it. "You didn't have to lecture me on what food would help us have sex and stuff them in my mouth." He already felt embarrassed that he had to say that but he just wanted the whole fiasco to stop.

He couldn't handle another lecture on why this food is whatever and why this food is that. He might not look at bananas the same way again.

Fai smiled as he shoved the last food in front of Kurogane. "So you finally figure it out, huh? Well then this should be the ultimate ice-breaker."Fai picked up an oval-shaped nut that was light brown and had vertical lines on it. "This is called an almond: the almond is the most important aphrodisiac food out there. They provide high doses of vitamin E, magnesium and even fiber to improve your general well-being." Then Fai popped one in his mouth. "And I hear it increases your sperm count."

"…" Kurogane was speechless. So that's why he saved this one for last. It's not just about the sex…..it's something more….something that he dare not think about until he knew for sure what to say. "….if I eat this stuff would it _satisfy_ you?" He let out a small smile.

Fai's grin turned slightly dirty as his mind got the double meaning.

"Eat at least half of the almonds here and then join me in the bedroom later to find out, _Kuro-sama_."

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**END**

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Last words in story:

Kurogane: *stares in shock* what the hell was that?

Fai: Hyuu~! Despair-chan does have a dirty mind; doesn't she~? *smiles perversely at Kurogane*

A/N:...never speak of this _again_. *facepalm*

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**Until next time~! ^_^  
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